Not Too Unreal
by MeAndMyTwoFrogs
Summary: Faith has awoken in a puddle of not-so-great things. She is conflicted. Where the hell was she? Where was her dad, Amata... Anyone? She deluded herself into thinking it was only a dream, but deep down she knew it wasn't. What the fuck?


**Hello all! My first FanFic! Enjoy!**

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_What is that god-awful smell? Is that… is that me? …_

…_._

_Ugh it IS me!_

Opening her eyes, Faith squinted in the harsh sunlight that shined in her face.

"Where the fuck am I?!"

Borderline panic, Faith looked around and took in her surroundings. Barren. Orange dirt. Large rocks. Broken down cars. Putrid puddle?

She lifted her arm and the goop slithered down and plopped back into the puddle she currently resided in, "Oh _yuck_…"

Faith tried to lift herself up from the stagnant water and was sucked back into the mud with a 'plop.'

"You have _got _to be kidding me… Where in God's name am I! DAD! AMATA! ANYBODY!" she screeched into the wasteland.

"I must be dreaming, that's it… I am dreaming. I've had way too much fun at Freddie's party. That's all. Hehee…" she giggled nervously and rolled over to get out of that mess.

Once standing, Faith noticed that she was wearing a Vault 101 police uniform and a helmet, along with a police baton, was resting a few feet away from he. Shrugging it off, she tried to scrape as much mud off as she could and wiggled her limbs around, flinging mud onto unsuspecting rocks.

Picking up the helmet and the baton, Faith inspected them further and started to speculate her next move. This dream was so _realistic_. She's never been able to make conscious decisions in her other world like this before…

The police baton was dented and worn, unlike the shiny, never-been-used batons the Vault Security usually wore. No one ever needed to be beat down and no one ever started a revolt, the security probably had no idea how to even _use _them… But of course, the dear Vault overlord loved being politically correct.

Sighing to herself, Faith put the helmet on and strapped the clearly-have-been-used baton to her waist belt. She decided to explore this dreamland that she had concocted, maybe she'll find the answers to the world and beyond…

Maybe not…

The vault dweller marched on, past the worn-out road and broken medians, pausing at a vicious looking rock that somehow got in her way and caused her to nearly break a foot, then onward toward the houses… well, surely not houses anymore.

"Wow, this is so _cool_!" Faith exclaimed as she touched a beam that jotted out from the ground, she assumed that held the house's roof. To her left was an old wardrobe and half a bathtub resting in the rubble.

She eyed the knob of the wardrobe warily, "I can only wonder…" she said, and pulled open the door hurriedly.

To her dismay, nothing was inside.

"I was so hoping for an alien to be in there… or something."

After exploring a few other ripped, broken and gutted houses she noticed that it was getting increasingly hot. The sun in her dream beamed on relentlessly. The sun… She'd imagine it would feel like this, but she also knows of wind and other forces. Can't she dream up a more comfortable scene?

Faith walked on, passed the… structures, passed the broken cars and motorcycles, up to a strange building. She guessed a fueling station. There was a bright red glowing machine in the corner near a chain-link fence. On further inspection, the machine light was flickering and in white was Nuka-Cola in fancy script.

_Nuka-Cola?_

…

The machine door creaked as she opened it, sitting there, in the heat where three bottles of brown liquid. Drinks?

She grabbed one and noticed nothing peculiar about it, other than the interesting packaging behind it. The Vault never had anything like this, all their water was clear and tasted sweet and came in large jugs. She had _no_ idea what this would even taste like…

She was so amazed that her brain could come up with anything like this world, and thought she deserved a nice pat on the back. She wondered if her taste buds would work the same in a dream as they did in real life…

So, naturally, she attempted to open the bottle…

… It was fairly difficult…

… Don't judge her…

… How the _fuck_ do you op… '_pop_'… oh

She took a swig and immediately spit it back out.

_It burned!_

The bubbles, what were _those_?

She sniffed the rim of this… Nuka-Cola. It smelled sweetand a bit... different. She took another swig, a smaller amount this time, and now that she was prepared for the alarming sweet, bubbly taste and feel, she quite liked it and nodded.

She noticed that she was still holding the bottle cap from the Nuka-Cola and felt conflicted. Where was the trash can? She hopped her brain could dream of one… She _hated_ to be messy. Trash goes in the trash bin, books on the bookshelf… sighing, she just slid the cap in her pocket… she could worry about that later.

Taking another swig of her Nuka-Cola, Faith walked on. And on… and on… for a total of, what, 30 seconds? She was getting bored… So bored… She glanced at a rudimentary sign that read: "Megaton" with an arrow pointing to the right in yellow paint and with horrible, in her opinion, handwriting.

Faith looked to the right to see if she could get a glance of this… Mega ultra large ton. But nothing… It wasn't very Mega if she didn't notice it yet.

Shrugging, she followed the sign and happened upon another with the same ugly handwriting and the same yellow paint with, yet again, another arrow. She followed the signs up a hill and around another until she saw a large… Scrap Metal Mountain?

She stopped and stared at the majestic metal Megaton. Yep. She did have too much fun at Freddie's.

"Wel-come to Me-ga-ton…"

Faith jumped, a little 'Cola sloshing around in the bottle, and saw a robot doing… the robot whilst welcoming her to the… ton of Scrap.

Of course, the only other talking thing she could dream up was a robot. She was a big nerd for science, but sometimes she wanted something a bit more… fleshy, if you catch her drift…

She walked up to the robot, "Hey, do you happen to have a trash can by any chance?"

The robot continued to stand still and welcome her to the Metal Heap.

Faith shrugged, she never really expected an answer anyways.

Not giving the poor… poor guy in the corner a glance at all because she was so enthralled by the beauty of MegaScrap, she walked closer.

What was its purpose? Other than to look so utterly cool and rusty in the shining _hot_ sun.

She was surprised when two sheets of metal began to slide away and offer an opening large enough for her and a flock of rhinos to climb through. Walking through the gates, she was welcomed by another sheet of metal. This one, on the other hand, didn't have a sensor and she had to push, and I mean _push_ the sucker open.

Faith's mouth hung open, there was a _city_ in this Mega Hunk! Holy Scrap!

"I'll be damned, you're from that vault, Vault 101. I ain't seen one of those jumpsuits in a long time." Faith could have cried, humanity!

The man that spoke was wearing a brown hat with an equally brown jacket with equally brown, if not browner skin.

She held out her hand, she had manners, "Howdy do, my name is Faith. Do you happen to have a trash can… by any chance… any at all?" she gave him pleading eyes.

The man stared at her hand, then back at her. He hesitantly stuck his hand out and grabbed hers, "The wastes are our trash can, missy."

After shaking her hand, he quickly released and brought his hand up to his duster and lifted it as an introduction, "Name's Lucas Simms, town sheriff. And mayor too, when the need arises."

Frowning at his earlier statement, she glanced at the empty Nuka-Cola bottle resting in her hands, back at his face when he mentioned being the mayor _and _the sheriff.

With an eye brow raised, Faith made a face that mirrored confusion, then realization struck her and she began to understand… she _really _had a good time at Freddie's.

He watched her face, a myriad of emotions this one. He didn't know if she was on drugs, or just plain stupid. Well, if she was stupid, he might as well try and explain this in the most straightforward, and the most boorish way possibly, "This here is my town. These are my people. You so much as breathe wrong, and I'm gonna fuckin' end ya." There, he should have made his point.

Her little mouth opened, mirroring an "o." Bless this child, she had to be stupid.

"Fair point, Mr. Mayor of Town of Mega Scrap." She nodded about 4 times and glanced at the bottle in her hands, "but there is still this issue of a missing trash can… how about a bin? A bin full of… unwanted?"

Lucas' laugh was loud and hardy, he clapped a hand to her back and grabbed the bottle from her hands and threw it over the metal walls, "I like you kid, let's keep it that way."

He continued to chuckle as he walked on, down the make-shift stairs. If only he had a view of life like that, he wouldn't be so down trodden.

Faith watched Lucas' back as he walked away, "Well that was weird…"

At least she didn't have to carry trash anymore.

The personalities that she came up with… she will have to write a story once she woke up from this eternal dream…

Moving on then.

She followed Lucas down the steps and saw more people, some said a few words, others just a brief hello.

Once she reached the bottom, she noticed an elder man standing in a puddle that smelled awfully familiar and grimaced. It was like a larger version of the puddle she 'woke up' in this… was it even in the morning? Anyway, at least the mud was dry and now she just looked like she fell into a pile of fine sand rather than a pile of mutilated cows and diarrhea.

This man was a _trooper_.

"Give your bodies to Atom, my friends. Release yourself to his power, feel his Glow and be Divided!"

Faith wasn't sure if she wanted to talk to this man… He was standing in that putrid pit so she wouldn't be able to talk to him either way.

Saving their conversation for a later date, she turned around and noticed a quaint… get together with stools. It must be a sort of bar. Wow she was lacking in the imagination department.

It was dirty, rusty and right next to the putrid puddle.

Wait…

Is that... a _bomb_?

She takes back her earlier comment about lack of imagination, that's just _crazy_.

Oh… _OOH. _Atom. Heh.

"Mooooo."

Cows? What next, the overlord wearing a tutu?

She turned to face the noise… One… Two.

One and two. Two… T-W-O.

Two heads. _Wicked!_

She hurriedly walked over toward the two-headed cow, "Why! Aren't you the most charming thing I've seen in… well, this whole time!" She cooed.

The beast just 'mooed' in response.

He was hairless and wrinkly, his skin leathery. She smiled and pet him further. He didn't seem to mind. He didn't look like he noticed, much less cared that she was molesting him.

And here she said that she had a shitty imagination. Hah.

Faith continued to explore the Ton of Scrap and happened by Lucas again, "staying out of trouble, I hope? Don't want to have to waste good bullets on your sorry hide." He muttered.

She frowned, she wasn't used to people being so obtuse with her. She'll have to think of a way for this man to treat her as an equal.

Deciding that MegaScrap was too large she walked back down to the quaint get together she saw near the bomb… At least she will be able to sit down.

Faith walked down the first set of rafters, passed Moriarty's Saloon, down passed Caterside Supplies, down the rafter on top of the 'clinic' and passed the adorable, mutated cow. She paused for a moment to pet the cow again, "Aww who is a good little… _cow_, you are, you are!" she cooed.

The looks she received were no different from when she was exploring: bewildered and disbelief. She took it in stride and sat down at the bar…

"Howdy! My name is Faith!" She said loudly for the lady serving some settler the counter over.

The lady smiled and finished up with her first customer and then walked over to Faith, "Hello there! My name is Jenny, Jenny Stahl. What can I get you?"

Faith beamed, "Nuka-Cola?"

"But of course, anything to eat, dear?"

"No, no…" A rumbling came from Faith's stomach, "… Well maybe just a burger."

Jenny lifted an eye brow, "We don't have that. How about Iguana-on-a-stick? Or InstaMash?"

Faith's eye twitched and her mouth dropped open.

"Maybe not… Potato chips fine?" Jenny drawled, clearly this vault dweller knew next to _nothing_ about how hard life is out here.

"Yes, I'll take it!"

Jenny laid out the Nuka-Cola and the bag of chips in front of Faith… the moment of truth, "That will be 13 caps."

Faith's fingers twitched, caps? She stared at Jenny, "Caps?"

_Crap_. She totally forgot about payment… Well couldn't she just dream up some money? She sat there very still and scrunched her eyes shut. _Money money money money moneymoneymoneyyyy._

Faith's eyes sprung open and alas, no money was to be found.

Frowning, Faith looked to Jenny, "Is there any way we can set up a deal… Maybe an IOU?" She asked hopefully.

Jenny looked at her pitifully, "I'm sorry dear, but money is tight. I can't…" and with that, she took the cold drink and food away. Just like that. No remorse.

"OK. OK. How about just a water then?"

Jenny did a double take, "If I didn't give you the Nuka-Cola for free, what makes you think you will get _water_ for free?"

"Well… it's _just_ water… I mean, water is everywhere…"

This girl is an idiot. "Have you _not_ seen the wastes? There is _no _water, just polluted goops and swamps. No rain, no wind, _no water_." Jenny spat. The vault idiot is so ignorant. Thinking she could just walk in here and expect everything for free.

Nodding to herself, Faith had to agree with Jenny on that note. I mean, she _did_ wake up in a polluted goop herself… But still… She was so _thirsty_.

Faith heaved a great sigh. This dream was going on longer than she wished it. Although she did thoroughly enjoy the outside, if this were actually _outside_, she still was pretty thirsty… and it was _pretty_ hot…

Sighing again, Faith got up and pushed off the stool. She remembered passing by another bar, a _saloon_. Maybe she can cheat her way into having a free drink there.

Marching on with determination, she left a bewildered Jenny behind and continued forward with a positive attitude. Sort of.

Faith walked with her head looking at the ground and slouched shoulders, dragging her feet. Water… Drink… Food. Sustenance…

Reaching the saloon entrance, Faith regained her posture and ripped open the door with vigor. Ha, act positive and positive things will happen. Maybe.

She marched on, her arms swinging in a jolly manner with a wide, stupid smile on her face. She parked herself on the chair closest to the radio, "Hello! My name is Faith. Now… I know you need money, but I am hungry and thirsty with no currency. Surely, there must be a way for us to settle this matter like adults and for it to end with me full and quenched."

The man at the counter turned around hesitantly. Damn. She was sure that if she was imploring she might get somewhere… anywhere.

When the man fully turned his head, Faith gasped.

"Don't hit me!" the man shrieked and flinched.

His face was… his arms were… _where _is his _nose_ for God's sake! Faith reached over and attempted to touch him, confused and in awe. This body was shredded. Decomposing… She could see his muscles as he flexed, prepared to dodge a hit. Hit… Did he think… Did he think she was going to hit him?

Faith's eyes looked at the man, "I would _never_ hit anyone! Well… anyone that didn't deserve it…"

The man stayed where he was for a second longer, seeing if she was truthful. After a moment of silence, he put his arms down and breathed a sigh of relief, "Wait… you're not going to hit me? Yell at me? Not even berate me a little bit?"

"Why would I do that? I… _Oh. _Bullies." Faith growled. She hated bullies the most. Thinking that they have power over people who are weaker. She crossed her arms, "No. I will not hit you or call you names. I refuse to such vulgar acts."

The walking corpse nodded, "'Name's Gob. I work here at Moriarty's. Here, have a drink on me." Gob said and pushed a Nuka-Cola her way, "It's the only thing I can give without repercussion…"

"This is perfect! Thank you! I was first at that stupid little thing at the bottom of Scrap Mountain, but the mean lady at the bar told me that she couldn't give me anything because I had no money… _Then_ she preceded to yell at me when I asked for a free water. So rude." Faith sniffed.

Gob nodded to her, "Well I better get back to work before… Well I'll just get to work then."

Faith watched as Gob cleaned a dirty cup with an equally dirty rag, "Alright Gob, thanks!" she said as she got up from the chair. She guessed it must have been around… Well she wasn't sure _what _time it was. But this dream… it was taking a very long time. Now that she wasn't thirsty or hungry anymore, she started to worry. Why was this dream so long? And why didn't anyone wake her yet? What was she supposed to _do_?

She gripped the Nuka-Cola bottle tighter and walked back out into the stagnant air outside. She noticed a man standing and smoking over the rail. She doesn't remember if she met him or not…

Nothing ventured nothing gained…

"Hi I'm Faith." She said and held a hand that wasn't carrying the Nuka-Cola out.

The man looked at her and did a double take, she could hear his rumbling laughter bubble out of his mouth as he blew out smoke from the cig.

He took her hand with the cig in his mouth, "Well, if it isn't the little princess." His words muttered around the cig, "I didn't think I'd be seeing you so soon, if not at all." He laughed again, "Colin Moriarty, at your service! Welcome to Moriarty's! My saloon, my home, my little slice of heaven in the backwoods little burg."

_Uh huh_…

Faith eyed him then smiled, "You know me? Are you here to release me from this awful dream? Good… I can't wait to wake up and tell Amata _all_ about it."

Moriarty laughed, "Kid, I don't know what the fuck you are talkin' about, but your dear old pop' came by not too long ago. Interested with this information?"

"My dad? _Oh_, is it like a game? Like once I find him I'll wake up? I _would _dream up something like this…" Faith narrowed her eyes and frowned. Typical.

Moriarty rumbled with laughter again, "I like you kid, here. I'll give you a discount, 100 caps."

_Uh… huh…_

Shaking her head, "I don't have caps. I don't even know what caps _are_. What am I supposed to spend caps on again?"

Moriarty took a drag from his cig, "Information on your father. You want to find him, right? And listen, if you don't have the caps, you can do me a favor instead."

Faith laughed and took both of her hands and encased his hand not holding the cig, giving it a couple of loose shakes, "Thank you so much! Finally, someone who knows how to bargain and haggle!"

He attempted to take his hand back, but Faith insisted on shaking it 50 times.

"There is this bitch, Silver who owes me money. If you take care of her and return my money, I'll give you the information for free. Have we a deal, princess?" He said and coughed when she finally let his hand go.

Faith shrugged, "Sure, I'll get your money back. Where is she?" By taking care of… does he mean… yell at her? The idea! But… a bargain is a bargain. She'll have to work on her vocals to get it right.

"She's somewhere close to that old school, last I've heard. The school, kid!" The last of his sentence was forced for Faith had a stupid look on her face.

_School?_

Faith had no idea where a school was… Time for more exploring… _Ugh._

This dream _sucks._

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**If you guys show me some sugar, I just might write faster. _Might._**

**Peace out Home Dawgs. **

**Love your fellow brethren, Abbie. **


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